The Iliad

What can the uninitiated such as myself say about such a historic work of literature? Expressing my thoughts on the Iliad feels like explaining the wonder of the ocean to an oceanographer after my first visit to the coast. Nevertheless, I still want to document my experience as an uneducated first-time reader.

First, I am blown away by the complexity of the whole saga. It’s unreal how so many characters with unique personalities and detailed family trees were kept relatively consistent throughout this epic (and in subsequent poems and plays by other authors) given the rudimentary tools of documentation and communication that were available 2500+ years ago. Add to that the organization and symmetry of the narrative structure, the impressive buildup of tension (especially in the final third), and the thoughtful foreshadowing from beginning to end – it’s all pretty incredible.

Second, it’s really hard for me not to step back with my modern lens and chuckle at the pettiness of the entire storyline, which I would summarize as: a handful of valiant Greek and Trojan warriors manufacture immense tragedy as a result of their inability to responsibly deal with Big Feelings. We have 10 years of war because of two guys fighting over a woman; Achilles spending two-thirds of the book pouting about having his trophy woman stolen; Hector willing for his child to die, his wife to be enslaved, and his entire city to burn, all to avoid the intrinsic shame of not meeting his own standards for a brave warrior; a handful of high-ranking warriors constantly trying to prove themselves, with little to no acknowledgement given to the thousands of poor, ill-equipped soldiers being forced to fight and die all for the pride of a few; and of course, the endless soap opera that is the Greek Pantheon. But, petty or not, these situations do make for a very engaging, high-drama journey.

Third, and this kind of just brings the first two things together, I loved how human the whole thing was (except for the women, which are, of course, mostly objects with varying values to be stolen or given away). The plot may be petty, but the emotions that go along with it are very real. I love that we are given people to root for and against on both sides, because no one is exactly right all the time. Heroes make stupid decisions. The warriors frequently tell each other (in a way that seems completely accepted and not even meant to be insulting): “You may be a good fighter, but you’re also not that smart”, or “You’re great at strategy, but you’re kind of small and ugly” (paraphrase). It’s a great acknowledgement that we are all given both strengths and weaknesses. Or the heartfelt moments where even the worst of enemies show each other some understanding and compassion. Or the gods, which perhaps show more emotion than anyone, albeit completely erratic and nonsensical emotion.

The most endearing features of the Iliad to me are some of the things that I’m sure are already widely acknowledged as part of its signature style: the random detailed similes thrown in at some of the most tense moments of the book, the insults thrown between the warriors, the graphic specific descriptions of violence, and the infantile behavior of both the gods and the warriors. I’m going to include some of my favorite examples of each of these things on the next few slides.

Homeric Similes

“The troops rushed out, as swarms of bees come rushing
out of a hollow rock, more always coming,
and fly and cluster on the springtime flowers,
myriads here and there—so many swarms
of men from ships and huts were marching out
along the wide beach to the meeting place.”

“Just as a stallion, who has been standing
confined to munch his barley at the manger,
breaks through his harness and at top speed gallops
across the plain with clatter of hooves,
down to his usual spot beside the river
to wash himself—he is all confidence,
and holds his head up high—his mane is streaming
across his back and shoulder—he is conscious
of his own beauty, and his galloping legs
carry him to the pasture of the mares—
so Paris, son of Priam, sauntered down
from the high peak of Pergamum.”

^^^ Like WHAT??? It just keeps going…

so ridiculously vivid.

“As when, to make an irrigation channel
by guiding water from a deep, dark spring
onto his plants and trees, a worker uses
a mattock to remove the obstacles—
the water gushes forth and all the pebbles
are swept away, and gurgling as it goes
the stream flows down the slope, soon overtaking
the man who made it—so the flooding river
kept catching up, however fast he ran.”

“Dressed in his shining armor made of bronze,
he rushed between the fighters at the front
to stand astride the dead man—just as when
a mother cow who has just given birth,
a first-time mother with her firstborn child,
so Menelaus stood astride Patroclus.”

^^^ Aww, poor Patroclus 😦

Savage Insults

“You dog-face! Drunk and heavy with your wine!
You have the heart and courage of a deer!”

— Achilles to Agamemnon

“He was the ugliest man who marched on Troy.
One of his legs was weak, the other twisted.
His shoulders hunched across his chest. His head
was pointy and his sprouts of hair were sparse.”

— Description of Thersites

“Pathetic Paris! Womanizer! Cheat!
You are the very best at looking pretty.
Oh how I wish that you had never lived
or died unmarried. That would be far better
than life as such an object of contempt.”

— Hector to his brother Paris

“Why have you started crying now, Patroclus,
just like a silly little girl, who runs
beside her mother begging, ‘Pick me up!,’
and tugs her dress to get under her feet?
Patrocolus, you are like that little girl,
with these tears of yours.”

— Achilles to Petroclus

“Your eyes are not the sharpest. Yet you always
babble! You should not be a blabber mouth.
You are surrounded by superior men…
…Ajax, you are excellent
at quarreling, but terrible at thinking”

— Argument between Idomeneus and Ajax

Graphic Battle Details

“He ran. Meriones caught up and speared him
through his right buttock, and the blade transfixed
his bladder, underneath the bone. He ground,
collapsing on his knees. Death wrapped around him.”

“Oilean Ajax sliced through his soft neck
and cut his head off, because he was angry
about Amphimachus. He swung and pitched
the head across the crowd, just like a ball.
It landed in the dust at Hector’s feet.”

“The bronze spear poured the man’s intestines out.
Down in the dust he fell and clawed the earth.
Lord Idomeneus pulled his long spear
out of the corpse.”

“Dismayed, he drew back to his group of comrades,
but as he backed away, Meriones
pursued, and struck him with his spear and pierced
his navel, piercing through his genitals—
the worst affliction that the war god gives
to poor, unhappy mortals.”

“Peneleus hacked at his neck below the ear. The sword sunk through almost completely—only skin
attached the dangling head. His knotted limbs unraveled.”

“So spoke Achilles, and then he committed
shameful atrocities on noble Hector.
He pierced the tendons behind both his feet
from heel to ankle, threaded leather straps,
and bound them to his chariot, and let
the head loll backward as he drove.”

Moments of Infantile Behavior

“You always get a better one than mine,
when we sack any weather Trojan town.
My hands work hardest in the frenzied fighting,
but when we share the spoils, you get much more.
I come back from the ships worn out from battle,
with something valuable to me, but small.
So I will go back home to Phthia now,
in my curved ships, because that is much better.

— Achilles whining about Agamemnon taking his woman trophy and all the other good stuff

“He sat down, frightened and in pain
and helplessly he wiped away his tears.
The men were troubled but they smiled and laughed,
and told each other, “This is something special”

— After Odysseus beats Thersites with his staff

“Then goddess Aphrodite flung herself
into her mother’s lap. Dione hugged her,
and held her arms around her darling daughter,
and stroked her with her hand and said her name.”

— Aphrodite being drama

“The weeping girl was sitting
upon her father’s lap, and all around her
her deathless dress was trembling.”

— Artemis running to Zeus and being drama

“When godlike Paris Alexander saw him
appear among the foremost line of fighters,
his confidence was battered and he slunk
back to his group of friends, avoiding death.”

— Paris chickening out when he sees Menelaus, right after trying to act all tough

Book author: Homer